JOHN ABRAHAM, JENNIFER, PAMELA, MERV HUGHES, INSURANCE OF BODY PARTS OF CELEBRITIES

I read about John Abraham contemplating insuring his “derriere”, as my colleague put it, for 100 million rupees. Translated, it means John will pay some life insurance company a whole lot of money to safeguard his tush against the effects of everything other than time – like, you know, riding the bike (I said bike) for too long, yellow briefs that Karan Johar insisted he wear in Dostana, foods or habits that could adversely affect the curvature, overzealous tacklers on the field, the works.
So much ruckus over a tuckus.
He’s not the only one who didn’t know what to do with his hard-earned money from fairness cream endorsements and such, you know.


Jennifer ‘Jenny from the block’ Lopez, the first person to insure her enviable posterior, is said to be John’s inspiration. America Ferrera, the pardesi version of Jassi, insured her teeth sans braces for 10 million dollars recently. (Take that, John!) Madonna insured her legs, among other things, as did Pamela Anderson, who not only paid to be better-endowed but went ahead and insured those bags of silicone as well.


Merv Hughes, yesteryear cricketer, in a grand “One-up” gesture to all in the vanity bandwagon, took out a policy on his awe-inducing moustache.
But lest you think I harbour negative sentiments towards John and his body part insuring ilk, it’s quite the contrary, let me assure you.  Just that I wish I could keep aside a handful of crores to insure my – nails, perhaps.


All said and one, I hope dear John’s insured himself with Max Bupa Insurance. There’s something poetic about insuring your caboose with a company that has Max and Bupa in its name, don’t you think?
Then John can start his own production company – Bips, Bupa & Butt.
God, I love alliterations.

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